Bowl Week 1 Picks
(Be advised, these picks are of no guarantee and the writers will not be held liable, especially if the use of said picks result in any/all of the following: divorce, alimony, child support, collection notices, eviction, fraud, arson, illegal weapons purchase, drug bust, etc.)
Ok, so it’s that time of year again. December is upon us and that can only mean one thing; Bowl Mania. Alright, probably not mania, however if you are from the South and college football is your drink of choice, then the next few weeks are like a good Scotch & Water without the Scotch and the bartender at Applebee’s hates her life and gave you well whiskey with a splash of water. But at least you’re in a bar. This is to say the games mainly suck, they mean nothing, but we love college football so we’ll tune in. And we’ll attempt to pick these sad games. Ahhhh, here goes nothin.
Saturday 12/17:
New Mexico Bowl, 2pm: Temple vs. Wyoming (-7 ½) Let’s see, kids from Philly in the desert or kids from Wyoming in the desert? Yeahhhhh, we like the Cowboys, mainly because the kids from Philly won’t know what to do with the abundance of sunshine.
Johnny Utah: Wyoming
Brittan: Wyoming
Idaho Potato Bowl, 5:30pm: Utah St vs. Ohio (-1 ½) Here’s the extent of our knowledge on either team…Utah St nearly upset Auburn in the season opener and Johnny Utah use to bang a girl that went to Ohio. Only one of those has anything to do with football.
Johnny Utah: Utah St
Brittan: Ohio
New Orleans Bowl, 9:00pm: San Diego St. vs. ULL (-4 ½) Aside from the fact that SDSU would be the team of choice if we were given the opportunity to be a Head Coach for any non-BCS team (but wait, they will be BCS next year, with that move to the Big East!!), Utah also likes them in this match-up. Brittan attended UL Lafayette proudly so no brainer there. The only thing ULL will have in its favor is playing in the Superdome; well, that and being very close to Bourbon Street, no matter what the outcome is. But they have a terrible run D and that’s what the Aztecs do best.
Johnny Utah: SDSU
Brittan: Cajuns
Tuesday 12/20:
Beef O’Brady’s Bowl, 8:00pm: FIU vs. Marshall (-4 ½) Let’s see, worst named bowl of the season. 2 awful teams. Tropicana Field. Who caresssssssss??? Coin toss, heads FIU, tails Marshall. Tails it is, we’ll take Randy Moss’ alma mater and the pts.
Johnny Utah: Marshall
Brittan: Marshall
Wednesday 12/21:
San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, 8:00pm: TCU vs. Louisiana Tech (10 ½) Ahh, the Christmas flower Bowl. Ugh. And they’re only giving the Horny Toads 10 ½? Pshhhh, they’ll cover that by halftime and let everyone know they can’t wait to play in a Big Boy Conference next year.
Johnny Utah: TCU
Brittan: TCU (but pulling for LATech)
Thursday 12/22:
MAACO Bowl, 8:00pm: Boise St. vs. Arizona St. (-14 ½) we really, really want to pick ASU. They have super hot women, they have kick-ass jerseys, and they have a LB named Vontez Burfinct that we’re pretty sure eats small children and decapitates horses for fun. And his name is Vontez. And he’s gonna kill both Eli Manning and Tim Tebow one day when he makes it to the NFL. However, ASU also just fired old Denny Erickson. And Kellen Horsemouth got snubbed in the Heisman, or at least that’s what anyone from Boise will tell you. The Broncos are gonna be so happy not to be playing in the Arctic Circle that is the city of Boise this time of year, that it’ll carry over into the game. Take Boise to cover.
Johnny Utah: Boise St
Brittan: Blue field homos
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